A Letter to Her....

Just as I am about to drift off, on most nights, a flash of memory wakes me. It's never an entire event or full remembrance of something, but a snippet. A glimpse backwards. Exiting the limousine at my wedding, seeing that second line, watching a movie while he's on the recliner next to me. It's never enough to bring me to tears, but enough to keep me awake a little longer...

...thinking about her, well,  me actually....

at twenty-five...

I'd like a chance to talk to her and let her know what's in store for her. But, there's no way to warn of things to come, she must live it. Take her lumps. Make her mistakes. Learn from them. Change. If I could talk to her, I would say...

Dearest Girl,

Hello there, darling...  He's about to propose! But, you knew that already, didn't you? There's not much surprise in something you've practically begged for, for years. I want to tell you something and please listen carefully. You don't have to say yes. He is your very best friend and I know you couldn't possibly imagine life without him, but you don't need to take a vow to have a kickass party. Honey...you can't quite comprehend what it means to honor and obey til death do you part. But, the good new is that you will.

Listen, before it's too late. I'm afraid we don't have much time. (You have your dress fitting in an hour!)
Things are not going to go as you planned. I mean...your plans are really going to hit the skids sooner than you think. On the upside, you will be blessed with two amazingly uneventful pregnancies. And, you'll become a mom. You'll be a pretty good one, but you'll be much more overwhelmed than you could have possibly imagined. (Sometimes, you'll cry for months). Tink will have colic. It's going to test you...and you'll fail. Miserably. You're going to feel this incredible need to shed your skin. And you will. Him. He's going to be a casualty of you not being honest to yourself about what you wanted out of life at twenty-five.

So, you'll leave. I can't believe I'm telling you this, because you were the one person who so steadfastly believed you'd never end up here. Divorce town. Shit, this sounds morbid and depressing. It's really not! What I'm trying to say is that you'll cut off your hair, down a few bottles of Chardonnay and resurrect yourself! Oh honey, you're going to be judged so very harshly. Pick your chin up, woman and keep going! Pull out those workout videos and get crackin'! You have a lot of fixing to do. But, you'll do it. And your daughters will be better for it. You know what? That one you vowed to love forever? You'll become friends, sort of, again. Wait. Patiently. Please don't give up.

And you know what, young lady? You're going to fall in love. The right way. You'll respect this relationship and cherish it above all others. Guess what! That picket fence you destroyed, will be rebuilt. Slowly. But, it will. I promise. Good luck...See you on the flipside.

You (at 35)