Checks and Balances...

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" - George Eliot

At an interminable Inservice meeting today, we were discussing our Emotional Account Balances. The bank accounts of the heart, if you will. Our relationships, whether they be good or bad, make deposits and withdrawals upon our lives.  The goal, of course, is to stay in the black.  If too many relationships leave us wading in the red, we run the risk of becoming emotionally bankrupt.

The teacher running the show was encouraging us to think of a prominent relationship in our lives and create a list of withdrawals and deposits, hopefully realizing the the deposit list is much higher. Of course, my mind and heart go immediately to Boy. We are nearing the first anniversary of our first date and I am immensely proud of that for many reasons, not the least of which is that I have never had a relationship so full of deposits. His generosity is so humbling that I feel almost embarrassed at times. In one year's time he has completely changed the way I view love.

I had a brief moment of insecurity recently and questioned Boy about his feelings for me, to which he replied, "If I didn't want to be here Girl, I wouldn't." And he's right. Boy doesn't pull any punches and he doesn't buy into emotional girly games. His actions have proven time and again what a loyal and honest person he is.

The other night we had tickets to see David Gray. I bought them for Boy, delighted that I was finally able to give something back to him. A mere pittance, considering all he's done for me, but he was so excited. So it was quite apropos that I got the stomach flu the day of the concert. Being as stubborn as ever, I was determined to go.  Boy saw the agony I was in as we drove to the show and made the executive decision that we weren't going, no ifs ands or buts about it. Instead of enjoying a grown up night out on the town, I ended up on the couch in my sweatpants and manrobe, while Boy watched Alvin and the Chipmunks with Pink and Tink. He put jammies on the girls, brushed their teeth and snuggled up with Pink as the Chipettes rocked out to the Single Ladies. I may have been physically spent, but my emotional bank account was completely full.

Ten years ago today, I got engaged. I was emotionally bankrupt, but the huge rock on my finger was proof that I was getting all I had ever wanted. Too bad I never actually asked myself what it was that I needed instead. Fast forward a decade and I could care less about jewelry and presents, or the next big thing. Right now I have all I ever really needed. I owe so much of that to Boy. So...thank you Boy for too many things to name. But, mostly, for depositing so much of your love into my account. I am eternally grateful.