Naked Snow Day...

Pardon my French, but, UP YOURS OLD MAN WINTER!

Saturday, starry eyed and wrapped around my man, a little winter hibernation was just what the doctor ordered. Fast forward one week and you find Girl, bedraggled and nearly hallucinating. Enclosed for the last six days within the four walls of my ever-shrinking house, my only entertainment that of the preschool variety.  Surrounded by blocks and Barbies and two naked children who demanded continuous episodes of Loony Toons, I wondered what horrible act I had committed against the heavens to deserve such a fate.

Pink and Tink had morphed into a two-headed wrecking ball, sans clothing of course.  My children repel clothing, their tiny bodies simply cannot handle being confined or constricted by undies and the like.  They streak around the house like little nude lightning bolts, begging me to assess how fine their bums are.

"Look at my bum Mommy!" 

"Yes girls, very nice." 

Rinse and repeat.

And it isn't just bums that have caught their interest as of late, any body part, especially one belonging to me, is fair game for questions and subsequent judgment. I try to change/shower/go to the bathroom in private, but their naked radar is so fine tuned, that as soon as any article of clothing is removed from my body they come running. The conversation usually goes as follows:

(giggles and snickers)

Them: "Is that your bum?"

Me:  "Yes."

Them: "It's big!"

Me: (sighing) "Thank You."

Them: "Are those your boobies?" 

Me: "Yes."

Them: "They're funny looking!"

Me: (sighing with eyes closed) "Awesome girls, thank you."

Them: "Why do you look so weird Mommy?!"

At this point I usually want to scream: "Because being pregnant with both of you has rendered my body unrecognizable! Your big heads and endless chattering has destroyed my mind and body for all eternity!!!"

Instead I respond: "Because that's the way God made me." 

Damn snow days.